The brave and passionate post below was written by a college student and sexual assault survivor who requested to be published anonymously.
As a college freshman, I defined the idea of disillusionment. I came into college recovering from an emotionally devastating sexual assault, which I had already begun to justify and repress with ease. I had left my friends and my family, everything I had known, entering a world that was nothing like I expected. By the time I began to accept what had happened to me and came clean to my new friends, I had an entire semester of loneliness and bad grades under my belt. It was at this point that I sought to turn things around and made my way to the website for the Women’s Center of my college. It was there that I found an application for a student-based group, centered in peer education on topics such as sexual assault and relationship violence. On a whim, I filled out their extensive application, securing references and underwent an intensive interview. I went through the process with zombie-like motions, still unsure if I was ready to face my past. I was accepted onto the team and in that moment, accepted what happened to me and began to look toward a future for other survivors.
However, my time with this group has been somewhat disappointing. Girls have come to a couple meetings and then stopped showing up, presumably enduring the rigorous application process for the sake of a resume builder. Students in charge of the group have routinely neglected it; projects organized and carried out successfully by groups in years past have fallen flat. Meetings are only bi-weekly and often last less than forty minutes, with most of that time being used to discuss the events of each member’s day or the latest campus gossip. I had never even heard of the team before I conducted my own research into the program, even though we do have an assigned “Recruitment Chair”. Why? Why is there so little passion? Recently, I overheard two senior members discussing a recent campus awareness project that involved wearing the color red to show support for survivors of relationship violence and sexual assault. In discussing how the event could’ve been better publicized, one said “Well, I guess it’s not really a big issue that people are going to care about on campus.” The other replied, “No, but it should be.” This, to me, seems to be the root of the problem – with my group in particular, and with similar programs nationwide.
Why are women’s rights and the prevention of sexual assault, relationship violence, and the like not a bigger issue on college campuses? We hear the stories of death by relationship violence, we’re shown the statistics of unreported rapes, and yet the problem still runs rampant. We even have colleges where people picket against the women’s centers, making light of rape in a show of ignorance that defies explanation. It is the responsibility of every university nationwide to make services available to victims, and to create an environment where these issues are discussed and acted upon rather than swept under the rug. Further, it is the responsibility of students involved in prevention programs to take them seriously. Programs like these should not be a throwaway activity, a footnote on a resume, a way to superficially pay homage to an affected relative or friend. We, as the youth, must start demanding action, and this begins with demanding more of ourselves.
When did standing against abuse and blowing the whistle on things like rape and violence become something to be ashamed of? We must stand tall not only against heinous acts like these but also against the ignorance that allows them to continue. It is time to ask more of ourselves, more of each other, and more of our schools. Despite my disappointments with the team at my school, I cannot ignore the good they have done. They give frequent presentations to various student groups and help to manage awareness campaigns, and have no doubt saved countless victims. However, there is always more to be done. I personally plan to throw myself into the group with unwavering dedication, and as I gain more experience begin to implement changes in its design. I will help to get the message out in ways its never been broadcast before. I will fight against the hopelessness that many in this line of work feel, and that is so easy to let permeate your actions when the harsh reality of the monster we are fighting is considered. And I hope that others will fight with me – for real campus reform, for real activism, and for a better future.