At Sex. Consent. Power. Pleasure. Ignacio Rivera spoke briefly on the fact that the anti-violence movement has a lot to learn from the BDSM community(ies) and I agree.  The event that’s happening this week, Hot Knots, is based on that notion exactly.

When we focus our attention on something a little liberating and a lot of fun we get a chance to snap out of the dark side of doing anti-violence work.  Especially when said event focuses on bodies that have typically been excluded from conversations around doin’ it.  Bringing fat people and sex together in one sentence usually comes in the form of a joke.  Fat people (in this country, this culture) are seen and directly told that they have a medical problem, one to be solved by a convenient multi-billion dollar industry around how to lose weight in order to access what is considered sexy.  Instead, I push and live in the ideology that fatness is sexy – as is, whole package.  No toning, slimming, trimming, blah-de-blah required.  And I know an entire community of folks who strongly advocate for the same.  (Sidenote – for an incredible collection of essays on fatness, check out the Fat Studies Reader edited by Esther Rothblum and Sondra Solovay, NYU Press, 2009)

So, come again? How does a fat-positive sexy event serve as primary prevention of sexual assault?  Because when we actually create spaces for people who have been historically desexualized to talk about sex, we create the space for people to gain the skills to say yes to the sex they want to be having, and in turn, no to the sex they don’t want.  This is about learning your options so much as learning your boundaries. This is about giving each other the tools for better communication, expanding our notions of what is hot, building our own concepts of detailed, intentional consent and learning to channel and communicate our boundaries.  Who knew that you actually get off really well bound and gagged?  Maybe you don’t, but your partner does and you really want to impress them with your fancy knot skills?  Maybe this is something you want in your back pocket for the day when you realize you’ve been having the same kind of sex with your partner for the last eight months.  Or maybe it’s just an awesome experience to be in a room full of joyful, sexy, fat, queer people (and their foxy allies) talking openly about sex, play, power and consent.  And maybe, just maybe, you’ll find someone to tie you up or be tied up by just in time for Validation Day. (And support SAFER while you’re at it!)  Hope to see all you New Yorkers there.

Big thank you to Re/Dress NYC for their amazing support of SAFER in donating the space for this event and their recent $ donation via collecting clothes for Wearable Collections.  Wearable Collections gives $0.05 per pound of clothing picked up to be given to a charity of their choice and Re/Dress chose us!

Looking to start or revamp a peer counseling or sexual assault education program at your school?  Check out this interview with Licensed Clinical Social Worker Rebecca Stacy, the Program Director of Bard college’s unique BRAVE program (Bard’s Response to Rape and Associated Violence Education).

BRAVE conducts peer crisis-counseling and educational programs concerning rape and other sexual violence.  Volunteer student counselors are available during the academic year, 24 hours a day.  More information can be found here.

Bard is a residential college located in Annandale-on-Hudson, New York.  Its program may not be exactly right for your school, but this interview can help get you started and give you some great ideas.  Feel free to contact us at SAFER if you need more information, or contact Ms. Stacy at stacy@bard.edu.

How and when was your program started?

BRAVE was started in 1991 as a result of a sexual assault that was reported by a student. The student body was very unhappy with the way the administrators handled the case and they held a “sit in” for three days in the main administration building until their demands were met. One of the demands was a peer crisis-counseling program that students, faculty and staff could utilize 24/7 anonymously, and confidentially.

Has your program ever faced problems or challenges from the administration or other backlash from the school community?

Bard’s administration is very supportive and appreciative of our program. They only difficulty we sometimes run into, but work hard not to, is duplicating programming that another campus group might also be doing. We try to communicate with all campus groups in order to collaborate.

How is your program set up and what kinds of services does it offer?

BRAVE is a 24/7 (when school is in session) crisis counseling hotline. We currently consist of 20 students who take turns taking on-call shifts. When a crisis call comes in, the counselors have to report it to me (the supervisor) within 24 hours, and then they receive clinical supervision around the case. Counselors are required to fill in a general case log after a call as well. We do this for statistic keeping. BRAVE also offers educational outreach and dorm programming. We are active on campus all year long with different educational programs.

How many students do you have participating in the program as volunteers?

We currently have 20 students, but we have a rolling application process so we are always accepting new students[.]  The number changes frequently. The students are required to attend a 40-hour training, which takes place once a year during the last week of intersession here on campus and is run by me (director/supervisor). Once they complete the training, they are qualified to be on-call and work the hot line. Prior to completing training BRAVE members still participate and help coordinate educational events on campus throughout the year.

How often are your services utilized? Do you keep data and if so, how?

We average 1-2 crisis calls a week. We keep a case log and keep track of all calls. At the end of the year, we complete an “End of Year Report” which tracks all of the types of calls and the amount of calls we get.

Do you evaluate your program and if so, what are the results?

Every other year, Bard conducts a campus life survey, and every student evaluates our program. BRAVE gets very positive feedback and students feel safe and appreciative to have a service such as ours available to them at all times.

How do you do outreach to your community to let fellow students and faculty know that your program is available?

BRAVE comes to every freshman orientation and describes what we do and gives literature, so every incoming student is told about us. We also include program paraphernalia in the freshman “goody bags” that they get at orientation. Throughout the year, we sponsor many events so advertising is always happening, and our name is all over the place. We also have a huge professional banner hanging in our campus center that you cannot miss. In addition, we do dorm programming throughout the year. We do “tabling” throughout the year as well. We set up a table (typically with something alluring like chocolates!) with all of our info, and applications in a high traffic area and stay there for a few hours during busy times. We promote our events through professors and staff, and PC’s. (PC’s are the equivalent to RA’s at most schools).

Do you have recommendations and/or resources for other student groups throughout the country?

BRAVE’s “model” has sort of evolved to meet the needs of our specific population. I am happy to talk to anyone wanting to start a program like this. I have much advice to offer and am always available.

We are honoured to say that we are hosting the next Feminist Carnival, which will be on February 17th!!!

This round’s THEME will be social justice activism. So please nominate any entries that you think would fit under this umbrella. To nominate a post for consideration, please go to http://blogcarnival.com/bc/submit_7727.html.

For more information about Feminist Carnival, you can go to the main blog here.

Please feel free to nominate yourself and your friends, and we look forward to reading what you have to offer!!

A few weeks ago I wrote about benefits of coming out as a survivor of sexual violence. While I still believe everything I wrote in that post, today I was sadly reminded that retaliation against survivors is still very alive and well today. Sexual assault at college campuses are extremely prevalent, yet the reports are extremely low. I unfortunately know all too well why reporting sexual assault by another student while in college can be a very daunting task.

I will never forget the time a friend told me how after she reported her sexual assault, the friends of her perpetrator would say she “would get what’s coming to her” and post other retaliatory, hurtful things about her on the internet. When she told the Dean of Students office, they said they could not do anything and there were no rules against their behavior.

Sexual violence in the context of college introduces very interesting dynamics. Since the community tends to be smaller, certain consequences seem to be magnified as opposed how they would be in the “real world.” The retaliation for reporting someone who may be popular in the community could be even more harmful on a victim’s well-being in the aftermath of going through a traumatic attack and reporting.

Luckily, universities can do something about retaliation. Security on Campus has a nice summary of Title IX explaining how universities are required to eliminate the hostile environment caused my campus sexual assault. One of the ways to try and eliminate a hostile environment is to actively prevent retaliation against victims (by making a rule against it). Having rules against it is not impossible or unheard of; a quick Google search brought me to Carleton College’s sexual misconduct policy which explicitly states that it does not allow any retaliation of students who file complaints for sexual assault against someone else.

The recent media attention towards the effects of being raped during college (i.e. the Center for Public Integrity’s report and subsequent similar stories) not only has shed light on the ways the administration have traumatized the victims, but also how reactions by other students can serve to make the campus an intolerable place.

While I still think that survivors should come out publicly about their experiences if they want to, I still think that universities should still step up. It is a shame that it is only because rules like making retaliation against victims unacceptable are required by law that many schools will then opt to create them. It is also just the right thing to do. We should make the world a better, safer place. And we can world towards that by holding harassers and perpetrators accountable for their actions and explicitly saying that it is not okay.

Via The Line Campaign’s twitter comes some cool news for those gearing up for Sexual Assault Awareness Month (April!). If you’re organizing SSAM events on your campus (or in your community) you can order films from the Media Education Foundation for reduced prices. They have partnered with the National Sexual Violence Resource Center to make this happen, and the list of films is pretty great.

I understand that the pricetags on these looks pretty steep for film purchases, but remember that most of these were made with minimal funding and are distributed by nonprofits. Also they are films that can be kept in your community for future screenings.

[Trigger warning on this post] This horrible story greeted me this morning when I got to work and made the internet rounds. A man killed his 9-month-old son and himself this Sunday, leaving behind “dozens of angry, desperate messages to the boy’s mother, including a lengthy suicide note and a memorial collage that appeared on the Web hours after he was dead.” The messages he had repeatedly been sending his wife online and via text message are incredibly disturbing, and include threats against the life of their son and admitted to physically abusing her. So one would think that with such a clear history of mental instability and abuse, there would have been a legal intervention before 25 year-old Stephen Garcia actually killed his child.

But tragically, despite the best efforts of Garcia’s ex-girlfriend (the mother of his child) and her family, the law did nothing to stop Garcia from acting on his clearly escalating unstable behavior. From the local paper in Yucca Valley, California:

Her family said Garcia abused [Katie] Tagle throughout their two-year relationship, which ended in August 2009, when, her family said, he punched her in the face, knocking her unconscious…

On Dec. 15, Tagle asked for an emergency restraining order against Garcia, telling Judge Debra Harris in a Joshua Tree courtroom that Garcia had threatened Wyatt. “He had sent me text messages before that if his son was around certain people … that he would kill him,” Tagle told the judge, according to transcripts of the hearing. “And that if I wasn’t where I was supposed to be, he’d find me and kill me.”

“What about the threat to shoot you, where did that occur, to hunt you down and shoot you with a gun?” the judge asked. “That was in a text message, Tagle replied. When Harris asked for copies of the text messages, Tagle said she had no way of printing them out and her phone was shut off. The judge denied the emergency order and set a hearing.

At that hearing, on Jan. 12, Tagle went before Judge David Mazurek in the Joshua Tree courthouse to show cause for a restraining order. “…On Dec. 31, we were doing our exchange, and he proposed to me, and I said no. He got angry and stole my phone and pushed me down. I made a police report about that,” Tagle told the judge, according to a transcript.

Garcia told the judge the report was “falsely made up.” Mazurek denied Tagle the restraining order. “If I grant the restraining order, how do you think that’s going to help with respect to you two being able to raise Wyatt together or work together to make sure Wyatt grows up happy and healthy?” the judge asked, according to the transcripts.

Asked about an e-mail in which he confessed to hitting Tagle, Garcia told the judge he had slapped her during a fight, but it was Tagle’s fault for “pushing and pushing and pushing until she could get something from me.” Tagle pointed out she was nine months pregnant when Garcia hit her. “I kind of get an idea of what’s going on,” Mazurek said. He denied the restraining order, saying, “I don’t think that Mr. Garcia poses a threat to Ms. Tagle.” Mazurek went on to suggest Tagle might have ulterior motives for alleging domestic violence. “I get concerned when there’s a pending child custody and visitation issue and in between that, one party or the other claims that there’s some violence in between. It raises the court’s eyebrows because based on my experience, it’s a way for one party to try to gain an advantage over the other,” he said, according to the transcripts.

This judge’s ruling…rulings, plural, actually, are despicable. Not only does there appear to be clear evidence that Garcia was abusive, but Mazurek had the audacity to imply that Tagle should basically suck it up and make ammends with her abusive ex to make sure their son “grows up happy and healthy.” What a terribly, terribly sad turn of phrase in context.

That he goes on to suggest that she is making up the abuse in order to have the upper-hand in a custody battle is even more horrible—not only in hindsight, but consider that Garcia had already made threats against his son’s life. I can’t help but think of the survivors of sexual assault who are accused of falsey reporting to get revenge. It’s not that people never lie, or never manipulate the system, but it seems that we still live in a culture where the impulse is sometimes to believe that the victim is lying, and letting that color the perception of the hard evidence. And sometimes, when that happens, innocent people are harmed and killed. As Katie Tagle’s mother said, “This was preventable. This didn’t have to happen.”

Although SAFER focuses on reforming college and university sexual assault policies, we believe that all institutions are responsible for providing thorough, fair, sensitive guidelines for potential assault victims. In the past I have blogged about a number of examples of institutions/events/and systems that have established (or should be establishing) sexual assault policies, from American cruise ships, to gaming and comic conventions, to the DIY policy of protesters at the G-20 Summit. Many of us have read much about the U.S. Military’s sexual assault policies, and the complications that arise for military survivors seeking justice.

Now I have another to add to the list: The Peace Corps. I came across the First Response Action blog via the latest Carnival Against Sexual Violence, and was immediately drawn into Casey Frazee’s campaign to get the Peace Corps to implement a comprehensive SA policy. Casey recently published her personal story in the December 2009 issue of the National Peace Corps’ magazine, Worldview. Some selections are quoted below and may be triggering:

Earlier this year, while serving in Southern Africa, I was sexually assaulted by a man in my community. The Peace Corps Web site states, “The agency recognizes that Volunteers’ daily safety is, for the most part, best assured when they are well integrated into the local community, valued and protected as extended family members.” Unfortunately, this system has a major flaw—when the attacker is also a well-integrated community member. My attacker was the brother of my host mother and the boyfriend of a co-worker at the NGO where I worked. Furthermore, he was a high-ranking official in the provincial branch of the country’s reigning political party. Going to the local authorities in the aftermath of the assault did not seem a safe option, as I feared retribution from my attacker.

After I reported this assault to Peace Corps, I was evacuated to the capital. My initial meeting with Peace Corps, subsequent to the attack, focused mostly on whether or not to report the assault to local authorities and developing a new site; I was not offered any medical attention or counseling…

I called the Peace Corps Medical Officer and requested to see a counselor. The PCMO told me that there was no budget for me to see a counselor and that while he would fight for me, I shouldn’t get my hopes up…

I began asking myself and fellow PCVs, what rights do I have as a Volunteer? How many times can I see a counselor? Can someone else speak on my behalf if I am too intimidated by Peace Corps? There is nothing in the Volunteer Handbook that addresses this and no one I asked—in Washington or in-country—could find any policy that references the rights of PCVs who experience sexual violence. I am not alone as a PCV who has been assaulted. I have heard from women in multiple countries who were not taken seriously, pushed out of their country of service or who were not offered counseling.

Indeed, Casey is asking all the right questions, and as an organization responsible for the safety of its volunteers, the Peace Corps has an absolute responsibility to provide policy and referrals for services for volunteers. I’m actually surprised and disappointed to learn that an organization focused on global welfare does not currently have such systems in place. As Casey recently pointed out, the Peace Corps are receiving $60 million in Federal funding this year in order to “increase the size of the Peace Corps from under 8000 to at least 16,000 volunteers with improved programs and better placements.” While I am all for expanding the Peace Corps, they should not be expanding without first making sure they have the capacity to support their volunteers, which includes having a comprehensive SA policy. Casey notes that in the PC’s 2008 Annual Report of Volunteer Safety there were “128 incidents of rape, attempted rape, major sexual assault and ‘other’ sexual assault reported to Peace Corps. That is 128 incidents too many.”

Casey is making an impressive attempt to work with the Peace Corps on establishing a policy and is currently waiting to hear from them. She has a number of excellent ideas (some of which are similar to what SAFER advocates for on college campuses) for what should be included, and welcomes suggestions and comments:

A Survivor Bill of Rights that outlines the process when someone is assaulted or raped. This would outline evacuation from site, medical treatment, connecting with a counselor, finding closure, information about the decision of whether or not to press charges, procedure for moving to another site and other options.

Training of in-country staff about issues of sexual assault, rape and domestic violence. This would be tailored to each post to address the country’s cultural atmosphere.

A non-discrimination policy for survivors of assault and rape so that volunteers do not feel pushed out of their country of service. This would also encompass not discriminating against volunteers who press charges or not. Volunteers will be treated equally and respected for the decision they make that is best for them at that time.

Inclusion of the Survivor Bill of Rights in the Volunteer Handbook so PCVs have easy access to the information and have the ability to move forward within the steps if the country is not taking action.

The designation of an Advocate who is someone in the designating volunteer’s country of service. They can can speak on behalf of the volunteer if they are emotionally or physically unable to speak on their own behalf to get the support they need. The Advocate would sign a confidentiality form and be able to work with Peace Corps’ medical and other staff to assist the volunteer survivor.

Creation of a more comprehensive curriculum to be administered at trainings that would give volunteers more information about sexual crimes and other assault (which would include specific data from their country of service). Volunteers would also participate in activities where they work on creating their own strategies for preventing and escaping possible situations of assault or rape.

Addition of more comprehensive information regarding this hopeful sexual assault and rape policy on the Peace Corps website (or another companion site) for family and friends of the volunteer survivor to reference.

(Note, I couldn’t get the individual posts to load, but all of the above quoted information, and the full Worldview article, is found easily on First Response Action. )

The University of Alaska Southeast reports that it will repeal its co-ed housing policy after an alleged rape occurred between a male and female apartment-mate (separate bedrooms, shared living space).

This knee-jerk reaction is an example of a university enacting a solution that does not actually address the problem. The fact that this assault occured in a shared apartment is almost irrelevant – it could have just as easily happened in the friend’s apartment they were visiting or anywhere else for that matter. Or this could occur between same-sex roommates, or between acquaintances who happen to be in a campus apartment.

I certainly understand where the university administration is coming from – I can only imagine the number of calls they could be receiving from angry parents – and this is a quick fix. But if the university thinks this will prevent assaults from occurring, they are wrong. I admittedly do not know what kind of sexual assault prevention programming they have on campus (a quick check of their website doesn’t reveal much), but they could use this opportunity to strengthen whatever it is they do, to talk about consent and what to do if you’re assaulted.

So this is pretty cool. The International Women’s Health Coalition is offering a $1000 grant for young repro health activists. Check it out.

There are 1.2 billion people between the ages of 10 and 19 in the world today-the largest generation of adolescents ever. Around the world, strong and dynamic youth movements are gaining momentum-and so is the global agenda for human rights and social justice. From Nigeria to Peru, young people are securing access to comprehensive sexuality education and reproductive health care, and affecting change locally, nationally, and internationally.

At the International Women’s Health Coalition, we are inspired by the activism of young people and their visions for the future of sexual rights and reproductive health.

That’s why we’re excited to announce our Young Visionaries contest, which encourages youth to share their visions for young people and the future. Until March 25, 2010 youth between the ages of 18 and 30 can share their visions for a just and healthy life on our website. One grand prize winner will receive a $1000 grant from the International Women’s Health Coalition to fund a project that works toward realizing his or her vision.

Youth can nominate themselves today by answering four short questions about their visions. Then, they can spread the word and encourage people to vote. Five nominees will become finalists by popular vote and IWHC staff will select five more nominees after nominations close on March 25, 2010. Our guest judges will then select our Grand Prize winner, who will be announced in early April. The contest is open to young people between the ages of 18 and 30 (inclusive) from all over the world.

Do you know young people who share IWHC’s vision for promoting and protecting the health and rights of women and young people and have an idea that works toward this vision of change? Encourage them to share their vision with us. And whether or not you’re eligible for the contest, check out the nominees and vote for youth activists who inspire you.

Click here to share your vision!

I love to use my commute to and from work to as a time to finish books I’ve been meaning to read. Last week I finally finished Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman, MD and the Afterword possessed some very good points that addressed something I’ve always wondered. For some reason, speaking out against sexual violence is a very political act; before I knew better I thought it’d be a cause that everyone (minus sexual assaulters) automatically would rally behind – boy was I wrong.

Herman herself shares the resistance she has noticed in the field when professionals have tried to advocate that the trauma from violence (especially rape) is legitimate and serious, many have been quick to dismiss or doubt the facts. She states “…the study of psychological trauma is an inherently political enterprise because it calls attention to the experience of oppressed people,” which makes a lot of sense to me. SAFER has already have touched upon the issue of intersectionality of oppressions a number times, but I do not think it cannot be emphasized enough how oppression and sexual violence are never mutually exclusive.

People (especially those in power) oft feel uncomfortable to talk about issues of privilege and oppression, so I guess I can see why many admin members at universities (or politicians or any other people in power) may be reluctant to talk about rape and why they have been dismal at addressing it correctly. No one wants to admit (or believe) that they are actively participating in the oppression of others and that their decisions not only are ruining the lives of individuals, but hurting society as a whole (well if you believe we all deserve equality).

Since I first learned about the existence of Amnesty International in high school and the concept of human rights, I knew it was a cause to which I wanted to dedicate my life. It is shocking that there are so many facets of injustice that all play into the concept of human rights. Herman suggests a way to help overcome the stigma against survivors of traumatic events. She says “…only an ongoing connection with a  global political movement for human rights could ultimately sustain our ability to speak about unspeakable things.”

We are constantly told that rape and domestic violence is a “private” thing and shouldn’t be shared publicly (CPI’s report shows how multiple schools illegally told survivors they could not tell anyone about adjudication proceedings), but that’s how we allow rape to happen at alarming rates around the world. Not only is rape minimalized, but so is sexual harassment and groping. They all are very serious, but many defend people who commit the heinous acts or dismiss those who try to increase awareness. For example, The Sexist has started a series on groping which has been controversial to some; one site encouraged visitors to submit false sexual harassment stories to http://stopstreetharassment.com/. Many are quick to call some “crazy feminists who can’t take a joke and need to get laid,” but truly these activists are doing their small part to fight for human rights globally – even if what they specifically do does not reach out on a international scale.

Rape is internationally recognized as a violation of human rights. So when a feminist is involved in fighting or alleviating sexual violence and its aftermath, they are also a part of the human rights cause.

via Rapedattufts.info