Monthly Archives: November 2011

Thank you

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My inbox has been filled the last few days with thank you messages from not-for-profits and candidates I support, and I realized that, as corny as they are, I want to send a thank you too to all of the SAFER folks.

Working with SAFER has been one of the best parts of my life over the last few years, a volunteer experience that truly changed who I am and what I can do. It is so inspiring to know how many inspiring people there are around the corner, across the state, or a phone call away. I am constantly amazed by the work that students are doing on their campuses – the energy, the commitment, the creativity, the conviction blow me away. You are all making your corners of our world better every day, and I thank you for it.

Introducing Self Care 101!

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Renee, one of SAFER’s amazing Board Members, has been working tirelessly alongside Cat, her intern extraordinaire, to bring you SAFER’s latest resource for student activists: Self Care 101. Check out Self Care 101 in SAFER’s Activist Resource Center (ARC) to learn more about burnout signs and ways for activists to take care of themselves. A special thanks also goes out to Rebekah Carrow, Melinda DuBois, and Board Member Dan Wald for contributing to this project. The following post about self care was written by Melinda DuBois. Enjoy! 

My name is Melinda DuBois, and I am the Administrative Director of Student Health and Counseling at SUNY Geneseo. I am also the Deputy Title IX Coordinator for Students. In my role as Administrative Director, I oversee four departments, health services, counseling services, health promotions, and Alcohol and Other Drug programs. I have been at SUNY Geneseo for 2 years, and before that spent 15 years in the reproductive health field, as the Executive Director of an abortion clinic. In the last 17 years, I have encountered many women who have experienced sexual assault. At the abortion clinic, I developed a procedure for collecting DNA forensic evidence for women who were pregnant as a result of a rape. Because this required collaboration with other community members, I became involved in the Rape Crisis Advisory Committee, a dedicated coalition of law enforcement, SANE nurses, activists, advocates, and lab directors.

When I came to SUNY Geneseo, my VP asked me to review the college’s sexual assault policy. This began an intense concentration on our policies, prevention efforts, education, and services for students experiencing an assault. Last year, the college engaged in a yearlong effort to educate the college community on sexual assault which culminated in the Sexual Assault Teach In. 300 students, faculty, and staff participated in a facilitated discussion about our campus. Participants critically examined our policies and services, and made suggestions for improvement that we developed into an action plan.

This year, Jennifer Katz, psychology professor and I have been co-chairing the sexual assault advisory committee to help implement the action plan. Our goal is to develop policies and services that can be exemplary, innovative, and meet the needs of all of our students. Our campus has also designated me the Title IX coordinator and advocate for students who need to discuss their sexual assault experience and explore their options.  In this role, I meet with students who are experiencing a range of feelings, i.e. fear, shame, guilt, anger, and confusion and help them navigate these feelings and navigate the system.

In my experience, self care is extremely important to avoid burn out. This work is intense, and activists can quickly find they are struggling with nightmares, frustration, transference, and their own trauma. How to handle these intense feelings needs to be a priority.

In my work, two techniques to avoid burnout have worked the best for me. Talking with close friends/colleagues about my cases and struggles is key. Frequently, I talk with my professional colleagues about my sessions with students, as well as my frustration with the system. By discussing my feelings in a confidential way, I have been able to process them for myself, get a better perspective on the situation, and find how I can best help. If I were unable to talk with my close friends, I would find it difficult to continue this work. Doing good work means you are emotionally involved. Being able to talk with someone about your own emotions is important.

The other technique I find helpful is paying attention to the moment and the small progress that is made. When talking with students who have experienced an assault, I find it most helpful when I can concentrate on their story, their emotions, and their concerns without trying to judge, make a plan, or attend to my agenda. Students need someone who will listen to them. Allowing students to talk allows them to develop their own plan. It is so important for victims to develop their own ideas about what they should do for their own healing. In hearing their stories, I often find myself wishing they would pick a different path. Checking in with those feelings, acknowledging that they exist, and letting them go is essential in this work.

As a person working for change on our campus, I frequently feel frustrated and impatient with the process. When feeling this type of burnout, I find it helpful to remember the small progresses we make. The small changes that have occurred to the policy, the additional services we provide, and the students I meet with collectively add up to major changes. Focusing on individual small improvements in services, education, and procedures helps when feeling frustrated or confused about the entire process. Good change takes time.

In addition to my two techniques for self care, I have some additional suggestions…

  • Accept that we can only do so much, cannot control everything, and do not have all the answers.
  • Maintain realistic expectations of yourself, the system, and the student you are working with.
  • Know your own triggers and personal issues.
  • Balance giving and getting in your life.
  • Ask for what you want, desire, and need.
  • Maintain a healthy lifestyle.
  • Remember that most students who experience sexual assault grow and learn from their experiences. You have the ability to plant the seeds for future healing.

Imagine

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It never ceases to amaze me – among the many, many things that constantly amaze me about living in the middle of a conservative backlash – that I got better sex ed as part of a state-mandated curriculum in VIRGINIA twenty years ago than most people in public schools anywhere get now. It wasn’t particularly insightful or feminist or anything (and at the time it seemed pretty limited), but it didn’t tell you that you were likely to die if you had sex outside of marriage, it didn’t lie about the effectiveness of birth control, it didn’t engage in slut-shaming or normalize “date rape,” it didn’t reinforce dangerous and out-dated gender norms, and it presumed that we would be making decisions about sex, so we best have a little bit of information to make those decisions with.

This Sunday the NY Times had a fascinating article about sex ed in a Quaker school in Pennsylvania that sounds like the best sex ed being offered in the country right now. Imagine treating sex as something pleasurable that also has some risks and teenagers as people with complex thought processes and desires, and then trying to figure out what kind of information will help them be happy with whatever decisions they make about sex.

Lots of things worth reading in the article, but I wanted to borrow the metaphor that Al Vernacchio, the teacher of the class, tries to instill in his students for talking about sex. Rather than baseball, he suggests pizza. Imagine what a difference it would make in our culture if we substituted two boys high-fiving in the locker room over “we agreed on mushrooms for the pizza last night” or “my girlfriend wanted mushrooms on our pizza last night” or even “I talked my girlfriend into trying mushrooms on the pizza last night” for “I got to third base last night.”

Pizza toppings are up for discussion and compromise, as you try to figure out a pizza order that will satisfy both people. There’s no shame attached to liking or disliking a particular topping. There’s no competition, no way to “win” at pizza ordering. And we’d all think it was pretty damn rude to order a pizza without checking in with the other person about what they wanted. Sounds like a pretty healthy metaphor to me.

Leasons Learned Admist a Tragedy at Penn State

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It is difficult to open up any newspaper, news website, or blog related to sexual violence that does not bombard you with Joe Paterno headlines and allegations against Sandusky. Indeed, Penn State has flooded America and left a rumbling of emotion and opinion. I have followed this case closely in the media for the mere purpose of listening to what the media is telling the public. Certainly, this is all anyone knows — including the Penn State community — what the media is saying is what the public knows. The truth about what really happened is in the hands of our court system and we must place faith in that. It is not our role to determine guilt or innocence. With than being said, I am amidst the millions that share outrage and sadness in the aftermath of the disclosure of this tragedy. I believe we can all walk away with valuable lessons from the Penn State “scandal.” I want to touch upon these lessons briefly.

First, I believe Dr. Yvonna K. Fulbright, a writer for the Huffington Post said it best when she wrote,

“If you’re not a Penn Stater, don’t judge. Sadly, you need to do no more than look in your own backyard to find that the same wrongs are being committed against other children. According to the National Resource Council, at least 20-24% of the U.S. population has been sexually abused. It’s an issue affecting every community, and more needs to be done about it everywhere.”

It is extremely easy for us to all walk around with a bad taste in our mouth regarding Penn State. Joe Paterno, as many articles have noted, is Penn State. He is the king (These are not my words, they are those of journalists reporting on the recent events). Indeed, a handful of Penn State faculty, who were prominent in the community and well trusted, let their community down. But the Penn State community is not at fault.  I cannot tell you how to think or feel toward the football coaches and the President of the University, but I can strongly recommend that you do not let those opinions mesh with your beliefs about the Penn State community. After Penn State lost in their last home game on Saturday against Nebraska, my newsfeed on Facebook was inundated with statuses saying they deserved to lose, they were an awful team, and other rude assumptions about the football team. I’d like to believe that these friends were just participating in normative sports banter as they would about the Greenbay Packers or the New York Yankees, but I m afraid that is not the case. Rather, they were letting a handful of people’s actions blur their opinion about an entire sports team. Let us not forget that when these alleged abuses were occurring, the current football players were not on the team.

Second, the tragedy at Penn State emphasizes the reality that most perpetrators of sexual abuse are people that we know and trust. Let us use this story as an opportunity to further dismantle the belief that perpetrators are the ‘strangers in the bushes’ so to speak. Further, and this gets me into my third lesson, we must all fulfill our duty to protect members of our community. The entire under-girding of the outcry about Penn State is that no one reported anything to the police despite witnessing abuse taking place. Of course, we all do not know how we would act in those situations, but it is important to think about it for ourselves now in case we are, unfortunately, faced as a witness in the future. Up until this week, the media lost sight of the victim side of this story, which was a tragedy in and of itself. But we must not forget the victims deserve help, protection, and justice. My heart goes out to the victims, who are now adults and may have never disclosed to anyone, who are likely being re-traumatized by the news stories and public opinions.

Although the victims in this story were young children, the lessons must trickle into campus safety regarding sexual violence. Kayla Webley reminds us that,

“…disclosing campus crime has often been a process fraught with confusion, loopholes, inaction, inconsistencies and, in some cases, negligence and cover-ups.”

The lesson here is two-fold. First, campus authorities must take reports of sexual violence seriously. They must respect the alleged victim’s report and follow through with an open investigation. Favoring a university’s reputation over any individual’s life is immoral and results in a loss of trust and respect within the university community. The response from campus authorities inevitably determines if alleged victims will come forward.  Second, students on campus must become allies against sexual violence and inform their peers that such behaviors will not be tolerated. Peer pressure is a very strong tool. We lay a lot of trust and responsibility in the authorities and faculty — as we should — but we almost must begin to place that trust and responsibility in the student body. If you witness a person being sexually harassed or assaulted, stand up for the victim. Empower him or her to get help. Protect your peers and ensure your own safety.

Overall, the media has made this story about a legendary football network. The media has referred to Joe Paterno as the king. The media has overwhelmed society with implanted emotions. Please take everything you read with a grain of salt, but do not lose sight of the lessons that can be taken away from the general story. Sexual abuse is very real and it does not discriminate across gender, age, race, socioeconomic status, or abilities. Child sexual abuse is a greater tragedy in this world than anything Penn State will ever know.

Colleges Aligned Against Sexual Exploitation

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As I am finishing my second and final year of graduate school in social administration (social work in layman’s terms), I am very fortunate to be interning at a fantastic organization, the Chicago Alliance Against Sexual Exploitation (CAASE). The organization is an advocacy organization that strives to address the culture, institutions, and individuals that perpetrate, profit from, and/or tolerate sexual exploitation. CAASE is made up of three sectors: community outreach and engagement, policy advocacy, and legal services. Our vision is to eradicate all forms of sexual violence and exploitation from society.

CAASE has played a prominent role in influencing policy on human trafficking and the sex trade. Our End Demand Illinois Campaign (EDI), started in 2009, has produced many successes such as the Illinois Safe Children Act, which is the first law in the nation to make minors immune from prosecution for prostitution. Also, the EDI campaign has helped to pass the Justice for Victims of Sex Trafficking Crimes Act, which offers sex trafficking victims the opportunity to have prostitution convictions removed from their records.

Being a leader in eliminating sexual exploitation from our community, CAASE is frequently contacted by students who are interested in becoming allies and passionate about eradicating sexual violence and exploitation. Unfortunately, we are a small albeit busy office so we do not have the capacity for students to come into the office and complete projects. But CAASE did not want to shun such an important and zealous group of students. Therefore, CAASE has helped college students in Chicago and beyond start Colleges Aligned Against Sexual Exploitation chapters. The purpose of the CAASE chapters is:

  • To act as a non-profit, non-sectarian, non-partisan, voluntary organization affiliated with the Chicago Alliance Against Sexual Exploitation.
  • To establish a constituency to work in pursuit of the elimination of sexual exploitation.
  • To study and take action on international, national, state, local, and campus issues related to sexual exploitation.
  • To educate the campus community about issues regarding sexual exploitation.

So far, we have started chapters at the College of Dupage, DePaul University, University of Chicago, Roosevelt University, and Northeastern University. We are also in the process of starting chapters at the University of Illinois Chicago and Loyola University. We are so excited to be starting these chapters.

College students are very important allies in ending sexual violence. As SAFER knows, sexual violence on college campuses is both pervasive and often not addressed appropriately. Student groups on college campuses who focus on issues of social justice are rooted in concepts of compassion and activism. These values form the framework for students’ leadership roles in human rights efforts. Indeed, prostitution and human trafficking are human rights violations that occur in communities all over the world, including the United States. More specifically, Chicago is a central hub for victims of trafficking. Approximately 16,000-24,000 women and girls are in prostitution a day in Chicago. Mobilizing students is one of many ways we can strive to eradicate sexual violence and provide support for victims of the sex trade and sexual violence.

If you are a student in Chicago and you are interested in starting a chapter, please do not hesitate to contact me at .

SAFER Supports #(Un)Occupy Wall Street!

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We, the Students Active for Ending Rape (SAFER) Board of Directors, wish to stand with the non-violent Occupy Wall Street Movement and with those around the country who have joined in solidarity.

In particular, we find that the participatory democratic approach that is being utilized at OWS, reflects our values in supporting grassroots movements for social change. Some of the techniques involved in such an approach include: consensus-based decision-making, mobilizing communities against injustice, and non-violent direct action.

SAFER operates from an intersectional and anti-oppression framework. We appreciate and share the concerns of individuals and communities that are fighting injustice within the OWS movement, and the efforts to make the movement a more effective and just space. We take into account the history of the term occupation and critiques that have been released about this term. We follow in the footsteps of New Mexico, and support the movement to (un)occupy.

We strongly believe that economic and other forms of injustice are inextricably linked and multiply the challenges faced by student survivors of sexual violence. In this vein, we specifically support the work of students organizers who are addressing how economic (in)justice impacts the experiences of survivors on campus.

Some of our concerns include:

  •  Who has access to college-level education
  • Who has family, friends, or community members that are able to be provide financial or emotional support
  • Whether work-study students, and students on scholarship, feel safe in challenging institutional authority
  • Who has access to long-term supportive services and safe spaces (such as housing alternatives to dorms, or private therapy)
  • Whose cases of sexual violence are taken more seriously by campus authorities
  • Who has access to legal assistance
  • Who has power to directly impact violence prevention and response policies and programs on campus, and who has the power to make these funding priorities

SAFER is devoted to the creation of comprehensive and accessible university responses to sexual assault. However, on a broader level, SAFER is devoted to bringing an end to violence, particularly patriarchal violence.

To this end, SAFER maintains the following guidelines:

  1. Movements must be non-violent in nature.
  2. Movements must actively oppose sexism, racism, classism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism, ethnic or religious bias and injustice in all its forms.
  3. Movements must meaningfully address issues of education, prevention, crisis intervention and community involvement, and work toward the creation of fair, effective and accessible prevention-based sexual assault policies.
  4. A grassroots movement should serve to empower individuals as well as a community.
  5. Progressive change requires three types of work: consciousness raising, activism within existing systems and activism outside of existing systems.
  6. Members of affected communities must find their own solutions for the problems that face them.
  7. Meaningful progressive change requires concrete, measurable victories.
  8. Authority will not change until it is challenged with power that equals its own.
  9. Collective power is the only power that oppressed groups can rely on.
  10. All oppressions are interdependent and must be actively resisted.
  11. Every effective action by activists must be strategic and goal-oriented.
  12. Authority should always be questioned and held accountable for its actions.
  13. Change on a community level can make an impact that will change the world.

We will show solidarity by continuing to amplify student movements for economic justice connected to and inspired by Occupy Wall Street.

Greek Life as Allies Not Universal Perps.

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As some you may have read in my first blog post with SAFER, I was a volunteer advocate for the rape crisis center on my alma mater’s campus. As a result, I attended many guest speakers and events that the center put on. For many events, the Greek life student body was mandated to attended — by the Greek life President, not by our organization. However, students who were members of a fraternity or sorority did not acknowledge that we were not mandating them and therefore categorized us as “men haters” and “Greek life blamers.” Going forward, it was difficult to defend the rape crisis center’s mission and stance on perpetrators of sexual assault. We lost our legitimacy among the Greek life population very quickly. These circumstances emphasized that blaming all men for sexual assault is a failure to the anti-sexual violence movement. All men are not rapists. All fraternity brothers are not rapists. Men are crucial students to mobilize in the fight against sexual violence on college campuses.

This is why I was so impressed and pleased to read about Greek life at Tufts University. The ATO president, Matthew Sanda, acknowledged that fraternity houses have a stigma against them as locations where sexual assaults often occur. Instead of becoming defensive by this claim, the fraternities and sororities at Tufts University accepted that the rates of sexual assault in Greek houses are hard to dispute. As a result, they took a stand against sexual violence. The fraternities and sororities started a poster series that said “Not in our house.” Additionally, ATO has indicated philanthropic projects done by the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center. They have established this partnership in order to further reduce the stigma associated with Greek houses. Sororities have also played an important role. Chi Omega partnered with Panhellenic Council to sponsor Take Back the Night, a vigil that is intended to empower and support survivors to come forward and tell their story. Students take back the night of their assault and are given their voice, confidence, and power back.

It is so important that fraternity brothers and sorority sisters become the face of allies combating sexual violence. The Greek life community is tight-knit and friendships are formed across memberships. If individual fraternities and sororities are signing up to be allies, they are more likely to hold their fellow Greek life members accountable if and when sexual assaults do occur within Greek housing or perpetrated by a fraternity brother or sorority sister — YES, women can be perpetrators, too! Having the Greek life community discussing topics of sexual violence is just another avenue for education and awareness raising for college campuses. Kudos to you, Tufts!

Facebook Rape Pages Twitter Day of Action…TODAY!

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A couple of months ago, I wrote about a despicable, rape culture-endorsing Facebook page that student activists were organizing against. As you probably know, there are a helluva lot of inappropriate Facebook pages that mock rape and violence against women. And Facebook continues to refuse to do anything about it, despite over 180,000 signatures garnered by this Change.org petition.

For this reason, Change.org has declared today a Twitter Day of Action against Facebook. And they need your help! Sign the petition and use the #notfunnyfacebook hashtag to tell Facebook how you feel about these rape pages. Change.org has provided some great examples of tweets, which I’ve listed below. Ready, set, go!

@facebook “Riding your Girlfriend softly, Cause you dont want to wake her up” #notfunnyfacebookhttp://chn.ge/szNQw0

@facebook “Let’s have sex.. LOL jk i’m a rapist, were doing it wether you like or not” #notfunnyfacebook http://chn.ge/szNQw0

@facebook “Kicking sluts in the vagina because its funny watching your foot disappear” #notfunnyfacebook http://chn.ge/szNQw0

@facebook “1.5 Million ‘likes’ and I will rape my mom!” #notfunnyfacebook http://chn.ge/szNQw0

@facebook “It’s Not Rape If You Yell Surprise” #notfunnyfacebook http://chn.ge/szNQw0

@facebook “Whats 10 inches and gets girls to have sex with me? my knife” #notfunnyfacebook http://chn.ge/szNQw0

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SlutWalk, Sexy Halloween Costumes, and The Same Old Bullshit

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Oh hey, readers! Are you ready to burn with the white hot anger of a thousand fiery suns? Then go read this muddled piece of reactionary garbage! Really, it’s a pristinely constructed example of abject bullshit! Is pristinely even a word? Because spell check doesn’t seem to think so. And I’m not sure that last sentence made sense anyway. But, hey! I’m a little incensed right now.

It boils down to this: Charlotte Allen, the lady who authored this op-ed, thinks that…

a. feminists uniformly embrace provocative SlutWalk attire

b. feminists roundly criticize sexy Halloween ensembles

(GRRR FEMINISTS!)

AND

c. most provocatively dressed SlutWalk-ers and scantily-clad Halloween party-goers are young women

AND

d. most ladies who are raped are young and, by virtue of being under 30, significantly more desirable than all other ladies!

AND

e. men are visual creatures!

PLUS!

f. women don sexy outfits solely for the purpose of seducing menfolk!

THEREFORE

g. all the rape and power and control stuff that feminists talk about is so silly!

(GRRR FEMINISTS!)

AND IN CONCLUSION

h. young ladies shouldn’t wear slutty clothes or else they’ll be raped!

That’s some ridiculous feat of (il)logic, if I do say so myself. But I’m out of time to discuss further. What do you think?