Somebody at the NY Times wants the paper to do more coverage of partner violence – they just don’t know that it’s a serious issue that should be treated like a serious issue. That’s the most charitable spin I can put on the paper’s second piece on partner violence that’s been, utterly inexplicably, published in the Style & Fashion section.

This one is an interview with an author about a new book – why not publish it in the Book Reviews section or at least in Arts? Or, since her book is an autobiographical account of being stalked, why not publish it in Health along with information on warning signs in a relationship? Or wow, they could really go out on a limb and do a piece in the U.S. section that interviews prosecutors and legislators about the prevalence of this kind of crime and why very little law exists to combat ongoing stalking.

The interview itself is not terrible. The inordinate amount of time spent dwelling on the “authenticity” of her narrative does seem somewhat justified in light of recent controversies over faked autobiographies and therefore doesn’t come off too much like “women make this kind of stuff up all the time” – at least until they got her shrink to verify that she’s “pretty normal.” The article does highlight the general lack of legal recourse for stalking victims, particularly if, as in this case, the abuser is wealthy. And, kudos, the article stresses repeatedly that this kind of behavior is entirely about control and has nothing to do with the victim’s actions or “love” on the stalker’s part.

I hope that this woman’s book – it’s being published under the pseudonym Kate Brennan and called In His Sights (although don’t get me started about the subtitle!) – makes a splash and draws more public discussion of this kind of behavior. The stalking behavior as romantic comedy cultural confusion has made it into the Onion and plenty of savvy blogs, but since it continues (Hitch comes to mind as the last one I saw – pounding on her door, demanding entrance, clinging to her car as she drives away???) I think more voices need to be raised against it. I remember reading a blog post a year or more ago, and I wish I remembered where or by whom, written by a woman who couldn’t have casual friends because they kept giving her away to her stalker – they just couldn’t understand how serious it was. And this article, whatever its many flaws, does stress how awful this woman’s situation is.

“The only way that I’ll know the stalking will stop,” she said, “is if he’s dead.”

Well, the self-reflection didn’t last long.

According to Bleacher Report, Iowa Football is “moving forward” after a woman was raped by three football players, blamed and stonewalled by the athletics department, denied a victim advocate, and ignored by the administration.

The worst part of all this besides that the victim and what she has had to go through is what the fans are seeing. We deserve better. Just several seasons ago Iowa was thought to be a national title contender. Now the direction in which this program is headed is unclear and in a deep fog.

It’s not unthinkable to see this program fall from the ranks and see a new head coach every three to five years, and become a place where the words “job security” are something to laugh at.

It is always said that, “Things always get worse before they get better.” “The night is darkest just before the dawn.” More times than not these are true, and it is almost a certain that more questions and dirt will be raised before everything calms down.

I’m glad football is managing to move on with its life.

Seriously though, what does it say when a brutal gang rape by three of your favorite players and a cover up by their coach doesn’t cause you even a moment’s pause to consider your participation in rape culture, or what you might do to begin to transform that culture? What does it say when you are more concerned about what a rape will mean for your football season than you are about its impact on the victim? What does that say about our cultural priorities, and whose pain matters to us?

I don’t expect Iowa football fans to give up watching football, but is it really asking too much to expect a little re-evaluation of the culture within the University of Iowa athletics department, and how it got that way?

I meant to do this earlier and it totally slipped my mind, but I want to give a shout out to one of my very favorite bloggers, Cara from the Curvature, who is blogging every half hour for 24 hours straight today to benefit the Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN).

There are already a ton of great posts up. Go check them out.

Today I stopped into a local coffee shop for some icey sweet coffee goodness, and what did I get? FREE icey sweet coffee goodness!

You see, I happened to be wearing my favorite SAFER t-shirt, which reads:

Drinking? Kicked out.
Drugs? Kicked out.
Cheating? Kicked out.
Sexual assault? See you at graduation.

Turns out the guy behind the counter thought the message was right on. He gave me my coffee on the house in solidarity.

You know, you’re never gonna get free coffee for that American Apparel shirt. Plus, that guy who runs the place is just… Yick. I need a shower.

And if you buy a SAFER t-shirt, the proceeds help us build our wonderful programs. We’re a small nonprofit, which means we really know how to make money go far. Do you know what we can do with ten bucks? Magic.

They also fit really nicely—not all big and shapeless like most t-shirts.

So buy a SAFER t-shirt today. You’ll look fabulous, help a good cause, and possibly get some free caffeine out of the deal!

*SAFER is always looking for new messages for our t-shirts. Send us your ideas and one of our shirts just might feature your message!

Just a quick post to direct people’s attention to a great post by blogger brownfemipower, who consistently comes out with totally badass strategic analysis when it comes to social justice movement building. Here, she discusses the use of violence as a tactic for progressive social change, and the roles that men and women have played in a few social justice movements. A little snippet:

I would argue that AIM was *mostly* about male posturing, and that male posturing developed *into* more nuanced community building in the form of Women of All Red Nations and the boarding school movement. To point to the male posturing, look at the Alcatraz take over and the pine ridge take over. Both of those had *active* community building within the period of time it occurred–but during both periods, men were out in front of cameras with their guns and long hair, and women were in the back cooking and cleaning and being beaten and manipulated into having sex “for the cause.” As women began to get sick of the bullshit and find other ways to participate in movement making (aka women centered organizing), the ‘movement’ almost immediately fizzled out. (of course, it wasn’t this simple, the constant law suits and court dates that the government used to target these groups had a huge part in draining money, resources and energy away from the movement–but again, if there was a strong, egalitarian community surrounding those getting sued, court dates wouldn’t have harmed the movement as much as it did, think the Oka Crisis in Canada).

At least half of learning to be an effective activist is learning your activist history. Go get started.