Our first annual SAFER Benefit Show was this past Saturday, and what a success it was! We had a great turn-out, near the capacity of the space at the Knitting Factory. The performers were great and folks seemed to be having a great time. If you’re a performer and want to be part of next year’s show, contact us. We’ll also need volunteers to help put next year’s show together. We want to feature college performers, emerging bands, and spoken word artists again.

I’m really excited about the talent we have lined up for our first ever benefit show next weekend. I’m also excited about the new video iPod we’ll be raffling that night, but unfortunately, staff can’t buy tickets. But you can! If you can’t join us at the Knitting Factory, you can still enter the raffle by making a donation online of at least $10. For every additional $5 you donate, we’ll enter your name again.

Check out the performers:

Music by:

Allison Gretsuk

Jay Legaspi

Vanessa Leonardo

Tim Be Told

Spoken word performances by:

DevinThe Poet

Tarra Barrco

Jonathan Walton

Nusaiba a.k.a. Legacy

Kelly Tsai

I just got back from Cosmo’s panel discussion of “gray rape at John Jay College.” The panelists did a great job of refuting the notion that there is a kind of rape that isn’t really rape. Some really important points were made:

• It is insulting to men to say they are incapable of correctly interpreting a woman’s refusal to have sex. Men are not stupid, are not animals.
• We must stop requiring women to be the controllers of men’s sexuality. Men and the community as a whole must take responsibility for harmful norms around masculinity. It is not just women’s responsibility to say no, but men’s responsibility to listen.
• One panelist, Chitra Raghavan, a prof at John Jay, pointed out that women communicate in the same ways (say no the same ways), whether they’ve been drinking or not. So this notion that women are drinking too much and giving unclear signals is a way to blame alcohol for someone’s crimes.
• Joe Samalin and Katie Gentile made the important point that some offenders use alcohol to make their victims more submissive and perpetuating the notion of “gray rape” only helps them accomplish their goal of not be reported and prosecuted.

All the women mentioned in the article that led to the panel said no, and were raped. Even the article’s author concedes that. But by focusing once again on women’s “risky behavior” we take the onus off perpetrators, and blame the victims. And despite Prof. Raghavan’s statements about women’s communication under the influence, the discussion kept coming back to the “poor men” who couldn’t understand what “no” meant.

I thought Robert Laurino, a prosecutor from Essex County, NJ did a really good job of refuting some misconceptions about the extent of physical injuries most rape victims experience (very little) and of pointing out what a disservice it is to use a term like “gray rape” because it waters down a crime and makes it sound not so bad.

There were no rape crisis centers on the panel, nor anyone speaking strictly from a survivor’s point of view. The experience of male survivors was pretty much ignored. The turnout was great, with standing room only, and some powerful statements from students.

Last Minute Action Alert!

10/15/07 – 11am

No Such Thing As Gray Rape!

Join the NYC Alliance Against Sexual Assault and the NYC Media Response Project this Monday at 11am at John Jay College of Criminal Justice to confront Cosmo and Laura Sessions Stepp about their reinforcement of harmful rape myths and irresponsible questions about what constitutes the crime itself.

Email: mrp@nycagainstrape.org for more information.

What: Cosmo is sponsoring a panel discussion called “The Changing Definition of Date Rape” See below for their outreach flyer.

Who: Laura Sessions Stepp and Linda Fairstein among others are on this panel, however, there are no Rape Crisis Programs represented and The Alliance was purposely not invited to this discussion.

Where: John Jay College of Criminal Justice, Gerald W. Lynch Theater Lobby, Haaren Hall located at 899 Tenth Ave between 58th and 59th St.

When: Monday, October 15th at 11am.

Cosmo’s outreach flyer:
Students Speak Out

The Changing Definition of Date Rape

• Is there ever a gray area between consent and denial?

• Does alcohol contribute to the blurred boundaries?

• Where does the law currently stand?
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Moderator: Ashleigh Banfield, correspondent, Court TV

Panelists

Linda Fairstein, author and former chief prosecutor in the Manhattan District Attorney’s Office Sex Crimes Unit
Katie Gentile, Director of the Women’s Center, John Jay College
Neil Irvin, National Director, Men Can Stop Rape
Robert Laurino, Chief Assistant Prosecutor, Essex County, New Jersey
Chitra Raghavan, Professor of Psychology, John Jay College
Joe Samalin, trainer, Anti-Stalking Program, Safe Horizon
Laura Sessions Stepp, author, Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both

Monday, October 15 at 11:00 AM
John Jay College of Criminal Justice
Gerald W. Lynch Theater Lobby
Haaren Hall
Sponsored by
COSMOPOLITAN