Trying to figure this whole thing out.

Because there are so many choices….

I think this will go up in sections. That might be the most effective way of doing this. I wrote this in sections, so I will post it that way. Some of this was written before I went to V to the Tenth in NOLA, and some after.

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I am reminded of one of the reasons, whether directly or indirectly why I started working to end violence against
women and girls. My best friend was physically abused by her stepfather in junior high school. Her mother did nothing to stop it until my friend walked out and refused to come back. She was 14.
A friend of a friend was raped. Repeatedly. Date rape. Every time. I think.
I was organizing a production of The Vagina Monologues at school. I announced it at a student leadership retreat,
and several groups were interested. When push came to shove, no one remembered who I was.
Was it because I was willing to stand in front of 75 diverse student leaders and student government members
not to mention the school faculty and staff that were present and say the word “vagina”?
I don’t know.

One of the big moments was telling my Dad that I was working on The Vagina Monologues.
I told my sister that I would disown her if she didn’t come, because I knew she would not go any other way.
She brought a friend. They both loved it.

But is that the point?
The student perspective on the connection between.. what is it again?
Reproductive rights and rape?
Anti-violence what again?

I thought – just look at V-Day. Planned Parenthood people are on the board there.
Of course they are.
Why wouldn’t they be?
Is there a difference?

Continue Reading »

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What is the correlation between reproductive rights and sexual assault?

It effects the same people. The ability to get emergency contraception after being raped is probably the most extreme case in point. After V-Day, I have seen and talked to staggering numbers. Women and girls who had been abused physically and sexually, at various points in their lives. It caused me to reflect on some very specific cases I knew about – even back in high school.
When a boy I went to school with, had been friends with, had molested his niece.
He told me later it was because he had been molested as a child.
What does that tell you?
That violence creates violence.
That people who are abused are more likely to abuse someone else.
On some level it seems that reproductive rights and sexual assault are so inextricably linked that one can hardly even begin to sort them out and explain.

And yet when I first started writing a few weeks ago, I could not fathom what the relationship was, although
I knew undeniably that there was one.
One of the key factors involved with reproductive rights and sexual assault are confidential services
provided by trained counselors. Or in most cases, the lack thereof.
At a workshop I attended, someone spoke about campus security having no idea how to deal with her problems.
Inadequate training it seemed, for an inadequate staff. Due to time, resources, money, staff. Whatever it was, the clear answer was that there was not enough of it.

At V-Day, a security officer was running the elevator. He asked me about my affiliation, and I told him that I was part of an activist group that helped educate and empower students to reform sexual assault policies on campus. He said, “so you’re the people setting up rape crisis centers.”
I nicely explained that “No, we focus on students in college and training them to advocate for reform in sexual
assault policy.”
I looked at him and saw there was no point in arguing further.
The concept of prevention was completely foreign to him.
Anyone working in anti-violence work is someone who is trying to set up rape crisis centers.
I am not knocking centers. I believe that they are vital in the recovery (is that the right word to use there?) process. But what about enacting policies that PREVENT rape from happening?
Are we supposed to expect it to happen, accept that it will happen, and treat survivors?
No. That is not acceptable. 1 in 4 females will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime.
1 in 3 ages 18 to 25. Most of these happen on a college campus by someone she knows.
I have heard stories about an R.A. who assaulted a girl on his floor. The R.A. was not expelled.
Not suspended from school. Not suspended from class. Not removed from the dorm building. Or the floor.
Or from his position as R.A.
The girl was not relocated either.

Horrible stories, that really tell me, and you, that we must put an end to violence.

Until the violence stops,

Lauren

Lauren Arneson is a Liberal Arts major at Borough of Manhattan Community College.