Wow. If only SAFER had called the New York Times!
We’ve had t-shirts and pins reading “I was raped, and I won’t be silent” out for a couple of years now. Some survivors wore them, some didn’t. No one ever freaked out about it. (We’ve also got one reading “I was sexually assaulted and I won’t be silent” coming out soon).
Jennifer Baumgardner’s new “I was raped” t-shirt is getting crazy media play, and it’s interesting to see how it’s all going down. I don’t have much interest in engaging some of the crazyland comments that have emerged in more mainstream forums (though I have to say, the absolute weirdest criticism I’ve heard so far is that survivors would be pressured to wear the shirt. Say what? In what bizarro universe would anti-sexual violence activists be running around trying to force survivors to wear t-shirts?), but over on feministing, a lot of the conversation focuses on the idea that maybe having a t-shirt about something trivializes it. Personally, I think it’s kind of all in the eye of the beholder. Depending on how you personally perceive t-shirts, and rape, and the specific design/font of a given shirt, you’re going to have a different reaction (I don’t even love all of SAFER’s shirts, but I’m always amazed at how messages or designs I don’t care for really speak to others, and vice versa). For me, the important thing is that people are talking about sexual violence, and that some of the shame our culture enforces in survivors is lifted.
We here at SAFER did have a lot of discussion about how we would present the shirt. Based on what the survivors among us had to say, we agreed that simply leaving it at “I was raped” left it feeling kind of passive, so we added “and I won’t be silent.” It was a long and thought-provoking discussion for us, but in the end we decided that having the message out there for people who wanted it would be a really good thing, and a way to begin to end a) the shame expected of survivors in our culture and b) the denial that so many people have about the very existence of a rape problem in our culture (see Heather MacDonald’s article for recent evidence of this).
I can see how some people would prefer a design more like Baumgardner’s, or a design like ours. It all depends on the survivor and what they want to say, I guess. My only beef with her version is that it’s pink, which would make it kind of off-putting for many male survivors (not that guys shouldn’t wear pink, but some won’t). So I think she should make some new colors.
Also relevant to this, SAFER is working on organizing events on college campuses where groups of survivors will wear SAFER’s version of the shirt together in protests to encourage their schools to take sexual violence more seriously. I think that this is the real power of the shirt—it’s probably not something you’d wear to go to the gym or just to hang out, but in a supportive environment, working with others to address the issue and change the culture, there’s something pretty badass about the whole thing.
I find your blog interesting.
As a MALE survivor of rape and sexual assault-I wish to comment:
As your headline title states “a whistle is not a prevention program”
-nor is a T-shirt.
I don’t know-it must be different to some people,rape? To me-the guilt and shame and filth I felt every day since my rape…and as a male,making it worse-as it is a silent victim who lives in this way,I clearly cannot see the way a T shirt will or will not help prevent and or make awareness of rape and sexual assault any more powerful a statement. Me…I would’nt wear any kind of T shirt that makes a statement-because of the ignorant out there who would make jest of a serious crime…me as a male survivor-the humor is waiting to happen.
I recently went to donate blood. I never have before-but wanted to. The interviewer asked if I had ever had penetration in sexual intercourse?
I had to answer yes-but not during sexual intercourse.
Sexual intercourse means I wanted to do this…rape means I did not. I certainly did not volunteer-as I was to donate blood.
Of course-it seems there is a problem with that. I exited into the lab area and upon learning why I could not donate the lab staff laughed!
These are people who are in a profession of some degree of trust,and they laugh.
My point is-education is not taken from a T shirt. To educate there has to be a willingness to listen-and a desire to change.
I read ‘femisisting’…it grieves me that still in 2008 we are a society that keeps looking at rape in a gender fashion…rape and sexual assault victimizes men too-we just have not learned to educate that this is so.
We live in a stigma-we male survivors,and actually-it would seem the feminist would be more willing to educate that this is so,because most of the time when society hears of rape-they think female.
I live in the community where the University of Florida calls home.
Just this year this county(Alachua County Florida) began a support group for male survivors.
I was a part of the commitee that recommended the benifit this will have to men-survivors,and also I pointed out how far behind the times our community was in regards to this…and we are a university city,a fine university city…and yet,no real support for men.
Rape is a serious and damageing crime. It does not go away-the fear and guilt,at least it seems so in my life. The real need is to work for a change in society towards teaching this-rape is a crime! and it’s victims are from all ages and genders-children and adults,men and woman.
A T-shirt is not going to do this-VOICES will!
The Department of Justice needs to create a special department within itself that spcecifically focuses on sexual assault and rape investigations. Just like the Justice Department has the Drug Enforcement Agency for illegal narcotics investigations, it needs to have a special department for sexual assault and rape investigations. Present statistics are a s follows: An average of 1 in 6 women report being raped every year. However, seeing as how most rapes are not reported, it is estimated that actually 1 in 4 women are raped every year. And, in the rape cases that are reported, the conviction rate is about 5 or 6 percent. That is deplorable conviction rate! I believe this low conviction rate is why many women don’t report their rapes. They know there will probably be no conviction, so why bother? If men were being raped with such frequency and the conviction rate was that low, I believe most of the Justice Department’s investigative resources would be geared toward bringing those rapists to justice. I believe that if the Department of Justice created a special agency for investigating sexual assault and rape, state and local law enforcement agencies would follow suit, just as they have done with illegal narcotics investigations (i.e. the drug task-forces they have set up). Think of a woman in your life; your mother, daughter, wife, sister, aunt, niece, etc. In our society today, she stands a very good chance of being raped and very little chance of being served any justice for that rape. The Justice Department needs to do much more to stop sexual assault and rape.
Hey Jay,
Yes, the way our culture deals with sexual assault on men and boys is just as terrible as its response to sexual assaults aimed at girls and women. It’s terrible that the lab staff treated you that way, and I think it indicates a larger problem in our culture where rape of men is seen as something that is somehow funny (think of all the prison ‘jokes’ out there). I think this comes from a deep homophobia in our culture, and also real discomfort with the fact that men are not physically invincible.
I’m sending you lots of good wishes on your recovery path. Remember—you didn’t do anything wrong, and there’s nothing for you to feel guilty about. It’s your rapist who should feel guilty.
Jay makes a good point – a t-shirt does not an anti-rape movement make. But a t-shirt is a prominent way of making a statement in a way that a whistle is not – so it does go some ways toward opening up discourse. When someone wears an “I was raped” t-shirt, it also produces the shock and discomfort in the viewer of confronting the reality and humanness and familiarity of an actual survivor. I think a bit of that is behind the “clothesline” projects, where t-shirts with messages decorated by rape survivors are strung up on clotheslines in public spaces. Most of all, t-shirts are a great way of raising $$ for strapped anti-violence organizations. SO without dismissing Jay’s great point – let’s all keep in mind that a t-shirt is not an anti-rape movement – there are some good reasons to keep them around. Not the least the dialogue they seem to have sparked.
[...] says so much about our culture that a t-shirt reading “I was raped” is a huge scandal that makes it into the New York Times, Chicago [...]
Jay,
I work in sexual violence in the Midwest and I have been trying to educate myself about men and sexual violence. I was raped, and bring to the work the perspective of my personal experience, but I realize my lack of education and background when it comes to men who experience sexual violence. Could you direct me to some resources? Great comment btw!